Bring Your Questions
Yesterday we spent some time allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal disappointment we’ve had packed away in our broken hearts. These times of reflection can be very hard to sit through because no one wants to remember the pain of these moments in life and live through it again. Thankfully we have an Abba that loves us too much to let us continue in brokenness. Even a hairline fracture in your heart effects your whole life.
Why would God let this happen? We have all had that question at some point in our lives. Pastor Tim shared his testimony about the death of his father when he was just fifteen. His father was a truck driver, and someone had been talking to him about Jesus. He wanted his family to start going to church. The first Sunday morning they went his father had to work so he wasn’t able to go. Pastor Tim shares his excitement about that morning feeling like he could be all in for this God thing. He really had a great time. They went back for the Sunday evening service but before the service started the pastor took his mom to the back first then came for him, his brother and sister to only find out his father was in an accident that morning and had passed away.
How could YOU let this happen? He shares about his anger towards God. This was the first day going to church. He was so heart broken and disappointed. So angry with Jesus. He was determined to get as far away from Him as possible.
Have you ever been so angry and hurt that you pulled away from Abba? This pulling away has many forms actually. You can be so intentional like Pastor Tim where you avoid any thing that has to do with Jesus. Or maybe you still believe in Him, but He doesn’t have your heart. You really don’t feel He’s trustworthy. Many people show up to church every week as a routine with no space given to the Holy Spirit to transform their heart. This is really hard if the disappointment comes as a result of the death of a loved one. Grief is very difficult. When Pastor Tim was sharing his testimony the Holy Spirit said, “you are still disappointed in Me for the passing of your dad.” I hadn’t felt like I was but when we give the Holy Spirit space to speak into our hearts, He will reveal all things that hinder our intimacy with Jesus.
Some of us have had disappointments come by our own choices. We are just thankful He still lets us in the building. We struggle with the idea of Him loving us because when you are disappointed in yourself you believe He is too. Jesus is willing to meet you right where you are. He is patient, kind, gentle and longsuffering. He never gives up on us. Never. He is always ready to start the process of healing every disappointment completely.
Do not be afraid to drag all of your questions and thoughts of what ifs into His presence. He wastes nothing - every tear, every whisper of I’m tired, this is too painful, I don’t want to think about it. Bring it all to Him. Look at His hands, at His feet, and His side. He loves you this much.
